Leadership Supposrt

4. You don’t need the “right” answer to “Why?” Well-meaning Christians often do more harm than good in trying to make people feel better by resorting to familiar cliches to make sense of tragedy: “It’s part of God’s plan” or “Everything happens for a reason”. “I can see that you’re really troubled by this” is a much better response.

5. Validate the person’s emotions. Allow them to discuss their feelings. Instead of saying “You shouldn’t feel that way,” encourage them to express their fears or concerns.

6. Don’t be afraid of tears. Bottling up tears can be unhealthy. You don’t have to say anything; you can simply hold the person’s hand and let the tears flow.

7. Be compassionate. Be open to where the person is on their particular journey towards acceptance (denial, fear, anger, bitterness, self-pity, depression). Respond with love, understanding and acceptance.

8. Monitor what you say. Even if the person seems unaware of what is going on around them, avoid saying negative things in their presence. Instead, continue expressing words of love and encouragement.

9. Keep your visit brief. Seriously ill people tire easily, so keep your visits brief—15 to 20 minutes at the most. Find out the best time to visit.

10. Be yourself. You’re there to provide support and encouragement, so don’t feel that you have to put on a show of cheerfulness when you don’t feel it.

Adapted from The Care Team Leadership Guidebook; UAB; Birmingham, AL.

Clean Hands, Dusty Hands and Dirty Hands Ministry

While conducting a Caring Conquerors support group at a local rehabilitation facility, the chaplain instructed Ron and me to wash our hands before leaving the building since there were many kinds of health situations prevalent there. There were times when one of the patients who participated in the group had to be rushed back to her room, because her oxygen supply was running low on her respirator. Because of that, we came to call the hands-on approach to caring for people as a “dirty-hands” type of ministry. What type of support does your church offer: a clean hands ministry (where people willingly clean out their closets or give money to a cause—both of which are appreciated and necessary, but there is no direct contact with people who are hurting); or a dusty hands ministry (the church may offer short-term support through providing counseling, help in a crisis situation, funds for acute financial need, meals for a family following the birth of a child or after a death in the family, help in feeding the homeless); or a dirty hands ministry (where individuals are involved in providing long-term spiritual support and practical care for the chronically hurting in their congregations or facilities)?

Churches and facilities need all three types—clean hands, dusty hands, and dirty hands ministry—to successfully meet the needs of people with chronic or terminal illnesses, disabilities, or frailty related to aging.